I started out blogging without any real view of where to go so there’s no real need or expectation on my part to blog regularly, and yet I feel guilty all the time that I’m too busy to keep my blog up to date. There’s rarely a day that goes by where I don’t compose a mental blog of what’s going on in my life but I just don’t have the time to get it down on paper. You should know that these mental blogs span the whole range of human emotion – they move me, make me cry and bring a ray of sunshine on an otherwise grey day (my favourite mental blog posts are the ones that make me laugh…). I know you’d love them too, it’s just a shame that you’ve not had a chance to read them. Ok, I’m pushing it now, and maybe that’s part of the reason I’ve not posted them – I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to put something out there and then have it fall flat on its face. When it’s cosy in my head, the words sound right and the audience loves it. I’m not so sure that happens as effectively when I put pen to paper or rather, fingers to keyboard.
I want to finish the blog about the Monster’s journey through the autism diagnosis process and then update the blog with how he’s getting on at school (how does a child jump on the sink taps..?) I want to laugh about how much the Minx loves her big brother and copies everything he does – not perhaps the best role model in many instances. Have you ever pushed a trolley round Asda with two kids sat side by side, shaking their heads, rolling their eyes and shouting, “Aaaahhhh?” I have.
I want to chart how I’m getting on with learning Gaelic (I’m getting there but it’s definitely been a steep learning curve) but it takes so much of my week to actually do the learning that I can’t get time to write about it, and as I approach the final term of the entry course the workload is only going to get heavier. Add to that that I’ve now started to make my own jewellery and sell some bits & pieces, and, well, you may begin to understand why I’m still awake at 1am in the morning. (As a wee aside, I set up a Facebook page for my jewellery at www.facebook.com/willowalexanderdesigns and I’d really appreciate it if you’d have a wee look. I’d appreciate it even more if you bought something, as would my children because I may then be able to feed them more than beans on toast for dinner, but that’s another story.)
I miss blogging. I miss taking the time to get my thoughts down in writing. I miss the community of friends I felt I was building up. I want to keep up with The Crumby Mummy, Three Years One Stone & Then Home, Tea & Biscotti, mother.wife.me and many more, and I’m sad that I can’t do that as effectively as I’d like, though I read the emailed blogs when I get a chance. January is swinging round and I’d love to say that the fresh start feeling that always follows Hogmanay will prompt me to write more regularly but I think I’ll be setting myself up for more guilt. Am I alone in this or have you ever had to put blogging on the back burner? For just now though, I’ll just have to keep plodding my way through my busy schedule and content myself with being a mental blogger for the time being until normal service can resume.