Quite Contrary #terribletwosday

The Minx is now two and definitely knows her own mind.  Everything is a battle of wills and it drives me crazy.  You can tell her mood just by her vocabulary – as the Monster says, if she says, “yes,” to everything she’s happy, and if she says, “no,” to everything then she’s in a bad mood.  We’re hearing a lot of “NO” these days.

Today was already going to be a long day – the Monster was going for his first visit to his new school (it didn’t go well) so I had to drop him extra early to the nursery he normally only goes to in the afternoon.  After that my Tuesday goes something like:

  • take the Minx to playgroup,
  • do banking for work
  • take the pair of them home again for lunch
  • take the Monster back to nursery,
  • get some paperwork done,
  • collect the Monster,
  • finish getting ready for work
  • and then finally going to work for a break to earn some money.

I’m still getting ready for work.

I was looking forward to the Minx’s playgroup session because it would give me a rare bit of respite but of course we turned up and she screamed the place down.  The playgroup leader looked concerned and worried that the Minx is sickening for something or maybe doesn’t want to be there, but I know she’s just wanting to exert some control over her life.

I left her there, though it’s hard when you know they’re screaming and hurried back to get her early so we could collect the Monster.  I braced myself for tales of woe – had the Minx cried the whole time?  Was she still distraught?

I needn’t have worried – not only had she settled fine but she then started screaming because I was taking her away!  I had to force her into her jacket whilst she writhed about like a wriggly worm.  We gave her the wrong name.  We should have called her Mary – as in Mary, Mary, quite contrary.

This post is part of The Crumby Mummy’s Terrible Twosdays linky.  I’m sure you’ve got a story or two of your own to share…

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8 responses to “Quite Contrary #terribletwosday

  1. Oh dear! The Minx is definitely living up to her name. ;0) A lot of children used to be like that at school and nursery. Their poor parents used to leave them worried that they were upset for them to settle the minute they had gone out of the door. Hope you are o.k. Enjoy your break! Terrible when work is a break. I keep tryin to tell my husband that. ;0) Thanks for linking up hon! x

    • I remember when I was training to be a teacher I had to do a placement in a nursery. There was a lovely little girl there who was quiet but seemed happy the first week I was there (which was her second week, I think). The following week she howled and howled, so distressed at being left. I was told this was quite a common response – they like the novelty of coming at first and enjoy playing with new things. However, after a few weeks they don’t feel like coming along and get very upset when they are told they have no choice – that they are to go whether they like it or not. It’s a distressing time but they do settle down, so I figure this is just the stage that the Minx is at.

      What makes it harder for me, though, is the way that nursery staff handled the situation. She was not to be soothed because that would only make her worse. I understand that, but I don’t think it would have been a terrible thing if she’d been shown some kindness and understanding. Instead, she was either ignored or berated. At one point a staff member shouted at her that if she screamed for much longer that she would make herself sick. Me soothing her would prolong her misery, but them shouting at her was going to help the situation immensely… They obviously understood that their methods were a little controversial because on the morning when new parents were invited to watch their children playing the staff were much nicer to her. It worries me that when you’re not there you have no clue what is actually happening.

  2. Well done for not giving in and making her stay. With my 5yr old we had to do that with her in nursery and slowly she got used to going and loved it. My 7yr old hated playschool (she only went 2 days a week the whole year cos she hated it so much) but we perservered and made her go. When she started school I was worried but she was fine. Now I just need to work at getting the baby used to going, she went to nursery for an hour and screamed the whole time she was there! She was supposed to be going for the whole day the following day but I knew she couldn’t do it and we need to start her slowly like we did my 5yr old. Of course if they’re in a grump nothing you can say or do will cheer them up!

    • It’s hard when you know you’re leaving them and they’re upset. I remember when my son started nursery (at 11 months old) he was very upset but they always played it down. After about 3 or 4 weeks they proudly told me that he hadn’t cried ALL day that day. I could have wept for him because he’d obviously spent a large proportion of the last month in distress. Still, he did settle and did love his nursery. He also transitioned to other nurseries with no bother so in the long run I know it’s worth persevering. It doesn’t make it easy though, unfortunately.

  3. Pingback: “No!”, Tears, Tantrums and Mischief #TerribleTwosday « amummysview·

  4. Pingback: "No!", Tears, Tantrums and Mischief #TerribleTwosday - A Mummy's View·

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