The cause of insanity: Potty Training

I. am. going. to. go. mad.

My daughter is still a couple of months shy of her second birthday.  Although this is also the age my older son (who had the benefit of all my attention, the summer weather and fewer toys to target on the floor) was toilet trained at, I had no intention of attempting to train my daughter until she was at least 17.  Or Easter at a push.  That would give me 2 weeks to give it a go and see how she got on.  No success?  Try again over the summer.  Still no success?  Well, my son would be off to school and she would have my undivided attention.  Yup, I’m definitely more relaxed with my second baby.

Sadly, my little Minx has had other ideas.  I’ve never shown her the potty and as the rest of us are all more content to “do our business” in the actual toilet we see no need to use a potty in the living room, so I assumed she was living in blissful ignorance of the fact that one day we would remove her cosy nappy, reprimand her for weeing if it’s not in said potty, and ask her to hold it in until a mutually convenient toilet break.

Nope.  No such luck.  On Saturday she toddled through with an old potty still tucked away in the loo at my mum’s and proudly sat on it.  She didn’t do anything in it but was pretty pleased with herself.  As my family cheered, told me she was clearly ready to learn and reminded me that I was trained at 12 months old (what were my parents thinking!!??), I smiled and inwardly shuddered at the thought of returning to my potty training days.  Her second visit to the potty was a success and we started to think she might be some sort of potty genius.  Perhaps, I grudgingly thought, this wasn’t going to be so bad.  Perhaps girls really do train faster than boys.  We went out and bought a pack of tiny little girl pants…

Scroll forward 4 days (ok, so that’s not a long time in the grand scheme of things but it feels like it), and that was the only actual wee-in-the-potty success.  We’ve had wee-in-the-playroom success, and wee-on-the-carpet-success, always followed by a loud, smiley, “Splash!” from the Minx.  We’ve even reached the stage where we’ve had no accidents today!!! But it’s a hollow victory.

You see, my little girl is now refusing to do a wee anywhere.  Every morning I put her in a nappy and tell her that we can do potty training in a few months/years.  Every morning she gets upset and demands her potty.  She can sit on it quite happily all the way through Mr Bloom (who can’t?) until she needs a wee and then she needs to get off.  Then she rolls around on the floor, desperate for the loo but won’t let it out.  I’ve put nappies into the potty, I’ve sat her on the kiddie loo seat but no.  She won’t release into the potty or even onto the floor now.  “Do a wee wee in the potty and I’ll give you a sweety!”  I’ve pleaded.  Still no success.

Worried about the effect on her wee kidneys (her bladder was clearly full to the gunnels), I managed to force a nappy on her writhing, screaming body and even then it took her a few minutes to relax enough.  I could feel the spreading warmth in my hand from her nappy as it filled with more than 2 cups of juice.  Finally, she was settled. Finally, I decided enough was enough.

But no, she still demands the potty.  She still resists the nappy.  She still refuses to wee.  I don’t know what the next step is and I’m tearing my hair out here.  Help!